I dunno about you but I felt that life is like waves rolling from deep blue sea to find its beach. It then rolls back to where it came from. But I am not a rollin’ wave. I am just a human. Doing the same routine many many many time makes me felt monotonous. I needed change! I needed to do new things to keep the fire in me continue burnin’. I dont wanna be a candle that will melts and dies off at the end of it!
I have changed careers. From an auditor, i switched to become a book keeper, from a book keeper I became a corporate planner, and then into business development, customer service, business and investment analyst and I decided to call it a day in my final job in international ventures. I was actually bored with what I have been doing. I started to hate jet setting, living in my suit case. But I was a very satisfied man with what I have achieved. If I had chosen to study English abroad after my Malaysia Certificate of Education or now known as SPM, I would have ended being a teacher, getting old in schools. Holy karipap! Tat is also why my English sucks! hahaha
To seek solace, I decided to jump to an opportunity of a VSS scheme offered. My immediate boss detest my intention. The HR big boss called me and advise me that I may not be successful to get a VSS, but I beg her to release me and told her that I had enuff working for people, and I wanted freedom. Yes! That was the word I uttered on my last day. Freeeeeedommmmmmmm! Just like Mel Gibson’s in Braveheart. hahaha
Doing things my own is not all rosy. I have gotta work very hard. No one knows me. No one even knew I exist. I lost my friends. I lost my enemies. I am now a small fry in an ocean controlled by bigger fish. Wow! But I am not going to die. i am not going to let those big fish eats me. I know my strength. I have analysed my weaknesses. I go for all the opportunities I see and grab ’em. I mitigate my threats wisely. I survived. I was cheap but I delivered big things big guns boasts! i wanted to make my first million. I came very near but lost the chance when close associates suddenly gets greedy. It was so near but yet so far. Duh! That was the biggest mistake I made in life I thought! But I forgot God gracious knows all. I suddenly fell into the darkest hole in my life. Deep black hole! I didn’t see any light. It was all darkness. Yes I was groping in the dark. I was blinded. But I never thought it is the end of my life. I never want to give up!
I regain my strength and started to learn to live in darkness. like a blind man, I use my senses. It ain’t easy but I am not going to die without a fight. I pray hard. I talk to the Almighty. I beg. I cried. I laugh at myself. Suddenly I see the faintest of light afar. Oh my, I can see again. Yes I do! thank god! Thank you! Thank you! All I need to do now is to get to the light. I know it is going to be different now. Doing something I never thought I’m gonna do. But it does sync with my inner-self likings. I should be out from all the darkness. I am ready to face whats out there in the broad light again. I will not fail again this time. I don’t need luck as my life is not about luck! I am my own destiny. I will find ways to reach the beach again.