All of us are self made judges. Do not abhor this statement. If you do you have made yourself one.
We have judged on a lot of things without even knowing it. It does not matter what the verdict was. If it turns out good then probably it was a good judgment made. Otherwise it was a bad one. But one man’s meat could be another’s poison. What about it?
It means to say that we cannot please everybody.
No one can.
The other day I met a long lost friend. I have not seen him for about 20 years since we left school. He has been my buddy and has helped me passed my Add Maths while in school. I will name him Y.
Y is good looking and is very successful. Still very reserved character and is quite shy. He is married with 5 kids with quite a good looking lady (He showed me the photo of his wife….errr his ex-wife). I asked him why. He said it is a long story.
Make it short. I started to be a nosey parker.
It was my mistake. He started. She has been so judgmental on me. I did nothing wrong. I was a counselor for a couple of female students at my university. Apparently they were two pretty lass and they were having problems with their studies because they were both spending their night’s club hopping. Yes they come from a well to do family.
Macha! The tarik kurang manis dua. Yum. Yum. Cerita menarik ni. Sambung…sambung. I asked him.
You have never change a wee bit. He told me.
Oi. The only change in me is my perut. Hahahaha…we laughed.
Ok. One evening I tracked both of them.
Oi stalker. I joked.
No I am not a stalker. I am just trying to be a responsible counselor trying my best to put on track young girls who got swayed with wealth. I found them at a club in Jalan Sultan Ismail. I watched them from far and after they had a glass or two, I zoomed into them. They were shocked and suddenly pretend to be drunk. They came by cab. They did that because it saves them from driving home drunk. Thank god. They have been at it for a few months already.
I kept listening to him attentively.
Eh! Lain kali ajak aku tau. I started to become judgmental. See….the little devil in me started to trickle the bad side of me.
Y smiled. Nkau pun aku tak tau mana. Anyhow aku dah tak jadi counselor dorang dah. Both of them were shown the door by the university. I don know where they are now.
Sambung cerita…sambung cerita.
So I picked them from the club and asked them where they lived so that I could send them home which they obliged. Dorang malu ngan aku kot. Masa tu pun malam masih muda lagi.
Masa keluar orang semua tengok aku. Ada yang kata, woooo lucky guy…lu angkut dua sekali ka…kasi la gua satu. Gampang betul. Ah…Y is a Temerloh guy.
Pasal aku hensem kot dua-dua ni ditambah pulak dengan dah minum kepala pun dah tak berapa betul kot. Dorang ajak aku romen-romen. Fuh!
Lepas tu engkau tak romen ker. I was grinning like a monkey that just got a banana. Hahaha…
Gila engkau. Mampus aku kena buang kerja nanti. Lagi pun I do not shit at where I eat bro. Kalau aku nak kat rumah aku pun ader aperrrr.
Eleh…belagak….I am being judgmental again unconsciously.
To cut long story short, lepas aku hantar dorang balek rumah masing-masing and after talking to their parents briefly aku pun balek lah.
Sampai aje kat rumah as I wanted to park the car bini aku rush from the house ajak aku pegi kedai kejap. Aku pun obliged la. So kitorang pun pegi la kedai. Lepas beli barang balek.
Masa punggah barang dari dalam kereta tiba-tiba je bini aku menangis. Apasal la pulak ni. Kata aku dalam hati.
Tiba-tiba dia campak coli dengan panties kat muka aku. Alamakkkkk….
So engkau pun tahu lah script selanjutnya. Aku nak defend macam mana. Alibi ada kat tangan dia. Aku pun tau dia tak de spender macam tu.
Hahahahaha….aku pun gelak macam setan.
Oi…kejap-kejap. Sampai rasa nak terkucil la dengar cerita lawak engkau ni Y. I went for my pee.
I came back from the toilet still grinning. He was very composed.
Eh…engkau simpan lagi ke coli dengan spender tu. I asked.
Mabuk la engkau. Bini aku dah bakar dah. Depan aku dia bakar tau.
She did not trust me anymore after that. And she asked me for a taklik eventhough aku mati-mati kata kat dia I did nothing wrong at all. I have even asked the lass who left those things in my car that night to explain to her personally tapi bila dia tengok budak tu jambu nak mampos lagi la dia tak percaya. So what else can I do?
I was wondering if the same happened to me. Hmmm…what a pity.
So she made that judgment on me. The society tagged the same on me when my dear ex told them what she found. Benda dah jadi. Takkan aku nak panggil CSI kot.
My ex bla dari rumah aku malam tu jugak Dia balek rumah mak bapak dia yang tak jauh dari rumah aku. Anak-anak dia tinggalkan terpinga-pinga kat aku. No hal la tu. I still have my children with me. After a few days dorang anak-beranak pasang satu baik punya lawyer and I was forced to lafaz the taklik. Sadakaulahulazim.
Oih…kesian engkau and your children kan.
Well. It is a well thought lesson. Make sure after any girl or even men tumpang kereta engkau make sure engkau buat spring cleaning of the car sebelum engkau masuk rumah. Kalau tak mampos la nak explain.
Aku tengah cuba untuk reconcile ni. Dia pun dah sejuk sikit dah pasal dia ada pasang spy yang track aku punya daily routine. Parents dia dah ok balik dengan aku. Dia aje malu-malu kucing. Nasib baik aku tak bagi talak yang kena cina buta. Kalu tak bila la pulak aku nak dapat balek bini aku tu. Dia tersengeh macam kerang busuk.
Elok la macam tu. I told him.
Bini engkau pun masih cun melecun lagi. I told him.
Tu la tu. Dah la dulu kemain susah nak tekel. He agrees.
The point is. All of us tend to be judgmental especially when crisis is in front of our eyes. Sometimes good deeds were perceived negatively.
I used to have a few female friends who were so jambu before they get married but became so haggard after they gave birth. They went home after office and then doze off in front of the idiot box before shifting to the bedroom to resume sleeping. When they woke up in the middle of the night to find out that the hubby went out they put a judgment that her man went for other women and said they were left lonesome at home.
Whatever the case maybe, the best solution is for both of them to communicate with each other. If they cannot sit together then they should recourse for a facilitated discussion. The facilitator should be one they trusted and is not bias. There must be a cause to everything. Sincerity will however overpower bad judgment.
So let us try stop being a self made judge. Or at least try not to be one.