I was entertaining myself picking my classical guitar when my phone rings.
Kring, kring,,,kring kring…the sound of my nostalgic ring tone.
“Yo dude” Desmond replied
“U free this evening? I need to talk to you” Desmond said to me.
“Ermmmm…yeah I’m free. What’s up bro?” I asked.
The conversation to meet me went bla bla bla….
So we met at one kedai mamak somewhere in Sentul Boulevard at about 9.
Desmond, a middle age senior pilot of a known airline based in KL is married to a former stewardess yang jambu nak mampos even now in her early 40s. They have two lovely kids aged 11 and 16. I met him and we became friends when we were doing our MBA. He was the most senior student and very accepting.
Desmond is facing a mid age crisis. He is in love with a stewardess from Kota Kinabalu. He showed me her photo but I told him that his wife is a zillion times jambuer. He then showed me a video of his new girlfriend.
“Wow…badan gigil giler D” …I usik him.
“Mesti la bodo…tu pasal wa suda jato cinta” Desmond agreed.
Desmond met the new girl when he was on one of the flight from Zurich to KUL. The girl from another airline was on board. They only bump into each other upon reaching KUL. Malas la nak cerita macam mana.
They exchange phone numbers and the rest is history lah.
The problem now is that Desmond’s wife sudah sense something like ikan. Desmond sudah gabra…
“Hahaha padan muka” I told Desmond.
There are reasons why Desmond main kayu tiga.
One of the major ones was that his wife is so jambu conscious that she is not fond of “doing it” with him.
“Adaa kaaa…” I asked him.
“Ya laa. Itu pasal la wa ada dua aje anak” Desmond defended himself.
“Oi…they are many ways la to prevent beranak” I told him.
“Aiyaa…you go and tell her lorrr” Desmond rejected my proposal.
The issue here is obviously not the typical conversation we always hear when men started to cheat on their wives. Honestly this was not the first time I have come about friends telling me of this matter. And that includes women too! How lucky aku ni..selalu dapat dengar cerita paneh.
So men cheated on their wives and vice versa are something not uncommon. At least not for me coz I have come across these quite a number of times.
These happened not for the fact that these people are the gallivant lot. All of them are nice gentlemen and faithful women. My homey type.
The reasons they provided were somewhat similar. Sex has always been the issue. Semua tatak puas maaa…ho ho ho ho…
According to authorsden.com, the top 3 reasons men cheat all relate to sex. However sex is not usually the motivating factor for cheating wives. The top 3 reasons women cheat relate to unmet emotional needs or a desire for attention.
The most frequently cited reasons for infidelity among men include
- more sex (the desire for a more active sex life)
- sexual variety (a desire for different kinds of sex)
- opportunistic sex ( taking advantage of an opportunity to have sex without the fear of getting caught)
- to satisfy sexual curiosity (about a specific female)
- a feeling of entitlement (the belief that it’s a man’s prerogative to cheat)
- the “thrill of the chase”
- the desire to feel important or special
- sexual addiction
The reasons most frequently cited for female infidelity include
- a desire for emotional closeness and intimacy (someone caring to confide in and bond with on an emotional level)
- a desire for attention (wanting be the center of a man’s attention again)
- to reaffirm her desirability (To feel validated as a woman)
- to re-experience feelings of romance
- a desire to feel “special”
- sexual excitement
In one study, 75% to 80% of the men who admitted to having extramarital affairs said that sex were the primary reason. Only 20% of the woman who were having extramarital affairs said they did so for purely sexual reasons.
Having read this, I am not saying that Desmond is right. But no one could deny his plight and his desire to enjoy sex. Kalau tengok bini dia aku pun hari hari nak. Macam Melissa Theuriau…fuyooo. But he has been denied of his yearnings.
“Takkan aku kena tengok aje siot!” Desmond alleged.
At the end of the day I could not offer Desmond any solutions to his problems. I wasn’t in his shoes although I tried to empathize with him. I cannot be him!
Desmond however was relieved that he had this talk with me. He is a relief man after releasing what he thought was wrong. I don’t know whether it is right or wrong anyway. I just told Desmond to be himself. What else could I say?