New Death Sentence for the World

Posted in Uncategorized on November 27, 2009 by rozzdabozz

We have heard of the many ways convicts were put through their death sentence. I have coined on this idea since I was a schoolboy but short of proposing to any authority. Today I have the cheek to try to make this idea to the public.  Anyway this might not help as it took a longer time to actually put the convict to his deathbed.  Anyhow here it goes.

 

The New Death Sentence – Tickle to Death (Geletek Sampai Mati)

 

Why I actually propose this? Well, by tickling them at least they will die happily ever after hahahaha….there won’t be any pain or sorrow…those who come to witness the sentence will also goes home happy and not haunted by the death scene. End of the day everyone is happy, the convict die happily laughing his way to hell (if he is really guilty) or laugh happily to heaven (if he is innocent)…howzatt!

 

So go think about it! Yay…it makes my day…

 

cheers..

 

 

Blended Dragon Fruit Juice ft. Kiwi Fruit

Posted in Uncategorized on November 7, 2009 by rozzdabozz

I bet this one is long awaited for. Good for health and indeed a very good meal replacement.

This is a simple recipe for all of you!

Half a 450gm size dragon fruit.

2 kiwi fruits.

A cup of ice.

3/4 cup of water.

Blend ‘em together and tadaaaaa…..the juice is ready for you.

Achtung!!!!

If you don’t like the scent of kiwi fruit which apparently will be dominating this juice, use a drinking straw to consume it.

Do you have to add sugar or syrup? Very well! It is up to you if you like it sweet. However the natural sweetness of the dragon fruit and the sour taste of the kiwi fruit is just nice with me. But if you like, you can replace the kiwi fruit with winter melon or even water melon. If you use water melon then use less water.

So thats it! Your minute meal to boot. So healthy and sooooo jolly good.

Try it!

Cheers…

Gagak Hitam, Pak Hitam dan Malaysia

Posted in Uncategorized on November 7, 2009 by rozzdabozz

Aku bangun pagi-pagi nie dan terus menonton siaran berita dari sebuah stesen televisyen. Yang menarik minat gue ialah berita mengenai masyarakat pak hitam yang sekarang ni bersepah kat Malaysia ni.

Kalau dulu kita semua sibuk dengan fenomena gagak hitam yang mengungguli ruang angkasa kita terutama sekali di Kelang, sekarang pak hitam la ni pulak yang membanjiri negara kita. Result kehadiran mereka lebih kurang sama aje kalau kita perhatikan. Aku sendiri pernah duduk kat negara pak hitam ni dan faham sangatlah way of life mereka. Kata orang putih, these species sucks to the bone!

Pak hitam ni masuk Malaysia samada secara halal ke, secara tak halal ke perangai mereka ni sama saje. Rasa aku lah aku belum pernah jumpa manusia yang rata-ratanya sangat malas. Masa aku jadi bos dorang dulu, hampir setiap hari mesti ade yang kena maki dengan aku. Ada yang datang meeting dalam keadaan mabuk dan yang kaki kencing ni tak payah ceritalah. Akhirnya aku suruh je tokey aku tutup je biznes dia kat sana. Ada sekali di suatu malam aku pernah tangkap sekor pak itam yang diambil jadi watchman di kawasan pejabat aku dok tidor. Apa lagi dengan geram aku terus je meledakkan satu sepakan volley di kepalanya dan aku terus memaki hamunnya. Besok malamnya bila aku datang dia tidor jugak tapi kali nie dengan memakai helmet Pandainyeeeee…..that was the last time he works for me…

Satu kes lagi sekor minah hitam ni nak klepek akuntan aku…ade ke dia nak claim medical dengan beri satu bil engan satu harga yang boleh beli satu klinik kat sana…hahahaha…bahlul betul….

Dorang ni cakap pulak tak nak yang kecik-kecik….kalau dorang tahu dorang berhak nak dapat satu-satu bende tu walau bende tu remeh temeh, sampai lubang cacing pon dorang nak walaupu jika untuk dapat sebatang pen…fuh…letih ahhhh

Klu nak gi training, inhouse tanak…paling kurang pun nak gi Joburg kat AfrikaSelatan tu….perghhh…prasan giler…balek opis satu hapah pun tak blajar..tanya trainer, trainer kata ramai yg kluar masuk cakap2 henfon kunun2 nyer sibuk sangat lah urusan pejabat…datang kelas dalam keadaan mabuk baik jantan mahupun yang betina…pundek betoi!

Aku tahu kemasukan ramai pak hitam di negara ni kononnya sebagai student la. Ada juga yang bila dah kat sini mengaku dah masuk Islam tapi sebenarnya selam je. Dorang ni tahu orang Malaysia adalah manusia yang paling baik hati dalam dunia. Memang satu dunia tahu. Korang pegi la mana-mana pun. Kat US pun ramai orang yang mintak derma tahu bila jumpa orang Malaysia, kita tak akan pikir dua kali nak hulur sedolar dua. Kadang-kadang tu bila pegi restoren kasi tip pun melebihi harga lunch atau dinner dorang hehehehe. Sebabnya mungkin orang Malaysia ni respek sangat orang yang boleh bertutur bahasa Inggeris lebih baik dari dorang. Podah!

Sebenarnya kalau kita pegi negara pak hitam ni atau pun negara-negara arab yang banyak pak hitam ni, kat airport lagi kita dah kena klepet dengan dorang bila imegresen dorang tengok paspot Malaysia. Aku tak pernah miss la kene dua ratos dolar skali masok sampai satu tahap tu lepas aku bagi paspot aku untuk diperiksa dan bila dorang start nak belek-belek paspot aku yang hanya ada data perjalanan aku, aku belah je terus pegi kat kereta. Luggage aku pun aku biar ajer. Nanti aku suruh je drebar aku gi ambek bila aku cakap kat dia by hook or by crook, I want my luggage. I do not accept no as an answer. Macam sombong dan bongkak je bunyinye kan? Tapi macam tu la kalau nak idop dengan dorang ni. Kalau tak korang kena penyek-penyek la kat dorang. Silap ari bulan bila korang makan pon si drebar tu pun nak makan sama dengan korang. Aku ni buka la manusia yang bongkak dan kejam tapi kehidupan aku kat negara dorang mengajar aku macam mana nak handle pak hitam ni. Ooooo…paspot aku ek…lepas aku buat derk aje, nanti si pegawai tu pun datang la cari aku kat kereta….memang tak leh nego….dia mintak aku kena kasi lah…aku nak buat keje aku…nak bersembang dengan dorang, nak nego2, buang masa aku jer…dah la dorang busuk…hehehehe

So, bila aku da brenti keje…bila aku jumpa dorang ni dalam lrt ke, kat mane-mane ke memang lah aku tak berkenan dengan kehadiran dorang ni. Ade sekali tu aku bersembang la dengan sekor pak hitam ni, tah macam mana dia dapat nombor telepon aku pon aku tak ingat, aku rasa dia ternampak nombor aku kat backpack aku yang memang aku ader tag nama dan detail aku just incase kalau aku terhilang beg tu. Memang aku tak bagi nombor aku tu…aku tak suka dorang ni….kalau orang nak kata hak asasi manusia, dengan dorang ni pegi mampos lah! Budak tu kata dia datang sini jadi student, baru seminggu masuk Islam. Lepas jumpa aku, tiba-tiba satu malam dia call aku kata dia anak menteri lah, dia ader duit nak bawak masuk malaysia lah, dia ader surat sah lah, dia ader contact dengan kenamaan kat negara dia lah and all that jazz lah….dia ingat aku bodoh ke…aku dah duduk kat negara dorang and aku tau kalau pun dorang anak menteri sekali pun, menteri dorang sumua macam lembu…rasuah ni tak payah cerita la….kalah pisau cukur hahahaha…tu pasal lah dorang tak maju…dorang tak akan maju nyerrr….mat salleh pun nyampah ya amat ngan dorang…tu pasal mat salleh pun malas nak invest di negara dorang…ngabehkan bogheh aje…..negara underdevelop dorang tu banyak tanah yang subur….tapi bisnes yang paling senang nak untung kat sana jual arak lah…..budak kecik pun suka minum arak kat sana hehehe…..negara dorang ni idop atas duit bank dunia je….tiap2 tahun hutang sana-hutang sini…bank dunia pun pandai jugak…mungkin atas arahan orang-orang yang ade kuasa tiap-tiap tahun write off je sikit2….patut le pak hitam ni macam lembu…elok pun jadi hamba abdi! Tapi aku rasa lembu lagi baik dari dorang….sekurang2nya lembu tak menipu…daging dia pon bley makan hehehehe….

Ade skali aku pegi satu bank terkemuka di Malaysia ni, ade mamat hitam sekor ni nak bukak akaun bank…bila pegawai tu yang tak berapa fasih bebahasa inggeris layan dia, abis mamat ni klentong dia, mamat ni kata dia student dan part time footballer dari satu kelab kat Malaysia ni…hahahaha….perut boncet pun pegawai bank ni macam percaya je kat dia. Nak je aku cakap kat pegawai tu dia kena kencing…tapi maleh la…bukannya bank tu bayar gaji aku pun. Kalau kat printer name cards ni lagi laa…da banyak kali aku tengok pak hitam dengan mak hitam ni pegi kat printer name cards ni untuk duplicate apa aje kad yang membolehkan dorang begerak bebas kat sini….printers ni berteknologi tinggi…apa pun dorang boleh buat asal boleh buat duit dah lah….lagi pun kalau ader barcode kat kad dorang pon authority kita mane ader reader yang boleh baca….dia cakap orang puteh je, terkapai-kapai la pihak berwajib kita nak comprehend…kesian…aku dah tengok ni banyak dah….sebenarnya yang buat-buat dokumen palsu ni bukan aje pak hitam ni jer…bangla, pakistan, india, iran sumer samer jerrrr…kita je yang dol….atau buat-buat dol jer….

Apa-apa pun pada pak-pak menteri yang ader nih…cepat la bertindak! jangan la sampai da tak boleh kawal baru la nak react! Da la polis kat Malaysia ni pun kata susah nak handle dorang pasal dorang besar….satu faktor jugak ramai awek-awek gersang dengan yang tak gersang suka dorang pasal barang dorang pun besar hahahaha….hitam pon hitam lah…..kalau tak, lama kelamaan kot negara kita pun boleh la mula berangan untuk qualify for african cup of nations dalam bidang bolasepak…hahahaha…eh why not eh……

Tolong laaa…stop the influx of these pak itam or whoever yang kita pikir akan merosakan nama baik negara kita dan yang akan bring social imbalance pada anak-anak kita nanti…for whatever reason dorang nak masuk cukup la apa yang ader….aku memang kena salahkan kerajaan dalam hal ni because they made it possible! Bear in mind, they don’t share our rumpun, our culture….

Need I say more?

cheers…

Bila Tiba Orang Ketiga – Part 3

Posted in Uncategorized on October 24, 2009 by rozzdabozz

Alkisah lama tak cerita maka di sambung lah siket…..

Nina akhirnya melahirkan cahaya mata yang chumels…bukan 1 tapi TRIPLETS! Wow…

Macam ni terlondeh lah kain I nak jaga triplets ni, usik Roslan.

Bang, lepas ni kita tutup kedai lah ek, kata Nina.

Mana boleh. Abis malam Jumaat takkan I kena lastik cicak je, seloroh Roslan.

Gatal la abang ni. Haaa…anak dah lima tau…jangan la selalu nak pegi fishing jer…

Ok..ok..but I am soo happy. Syukur alhamdulillah. I love you baby. Kata Roslan sambil mencium Nina.

I love you too dear, balas Nina.

Hello….doktor yang menyambut kelahiran triplets Nina masuk.

Congratulations En. Roslan. Wah hebat your wife. All three came out through normal birth. No complications to both your wife and the triplets. Semua sihat walafiat. Dalam satu dua hari lagi kami boleh discharge la mereka. So congrats again. Doktor tu gave Roslan a warm handshake and leaves them. Roslan dok sengeh jer.

So to cut long story short…sebenarnya dah maleh dah gua nak sambung pasal dah tak tau ujung pangkal…lama sangat tak tuleh cerita ni…..

Orang ketiga tu was actually the third baby laa..tapi tiba-tiba jadi 5. Tu pasal cerita ni pun dah kena stop dah hehehehe…dah tak sync dengan title…

After about 3 years dari Nina beranak tu, mereka sekeluarga pun moves to their new house. They bought a piece of land somewhere in Bukit Rahman Putra and build a decent bungalow. Nina resigned from her job and became a full time housewife.  Roslan progressed in the company and was made a partner. He still goes fishing when he has time with Saiful always followed him. All the daughters…yeah the triplets are all girls…are always around Nina.

So macam cerita dongeng yang lain, they lived happily ever after.

TAMAT……

New National Anthem for Malaysia, anyone?

Posted in Uncategorized on October 22, 2009 by rozzdabozz

It is interesting to note of the recent claims by our neighbours about the food we have, the dance steps we do and bla bla bla…

Living very close to each other and having crossed each others path more often, I thought that it is something trivial to even bother about…I don’t see it as an invasion of privacy or invasion of sovereignty. Let us not fight about it or simply b***h on it like there is nothing better to talk about. Never mind if so and so food belongs to so and so…aiyaaa…makan aje laaa

Kalau sampai tarian pun sampai nak beperang, ape ke hei nyer yob!

Anyhow, it is also noted that the Malaysian national anthem, the Negara Ku is said to have been copied the melody from popular keroncong song of Indonesia entitled Terang Bulan. When I heard that song I must attest that Negara Ku uses the exact melody with only new lyrics input into it. If the Indonesians brag that we took the song from them, there is no pint for us to actually trying to tegakkan benang yang basah. Memang lagu tu lagu keroncong kat Indonesia walaupun difahamkan the original composer is actually a Frenchman.

So why not we call all our budding composers compose a new national anthem for Malaysia. Buat la  rentak reggae ke, rock kapak ker, ska ker…aper-aper aarrr….janji orang kita buat…and make sure check the composers’ nationality dulu…kalau tak, sampai hari kiamat kang dok bergaduh pasal sapa punya intellectual property…apa daaa…

So YAB PM…amacam…if you read this…errr I know you wouldn’t, why not make this during your premiership become your notable flagship … Lagi pun lagu yang dok ada ni ngantuk aar dengar…soul tak de…kalau pakai lagu Barisan Kita pun ok per….patut la ahli sukan kita slalu tak leh nak menang bila nak start satu-satu game…nyanyi lagu Negara Ku pun dah ngantuk…tak da semangat….bunyi macam lagu jiwang jer…so meh tukar…tak de la nanti orang ni claim lagu dia…orang tu kata kita ciplak…letih la bos..

So I look forward for the change eh…

Cheers..

Lagu Terang Bulan

Barisan Kita

Reel Choice for Surfcasting

Posted in Surfcasting/surf fishing Activities on October 19, 2009 by rozzdabozz

Choosing the perfect reel for surfcasting depends very much on the angler himself. For anyone who is already accustomed with a multiplier would anytime say it is better than a spinning reel. I personally think that using a multiplier will allow the angle to be precise in casting his bait. Multiplier reels is also said to be able to allow the angler cast further. Well, I am of the opinion that there is no wrong or right answer. It still very much depends on he angler himself. Often times I have seen anglers using spinning reels and cast heir bait nearer to the shore will also catch gorgeous size rays.

I myself would prefer a spinning reel if I fish at night as I hate it when I mistimed my cast and had a birdnest. Obviously the faintest of light although with the help of headlights, torchlight, it wouldn’t be much of a help as the work to unscramble the birdnest is indeed troublesome. So spinning is my choice when I fish at night.

There are many choice of spinning reels but for a surfcaster, the best will be a long spool spinning reels. This not only helps you to load lots of lines but also helps you cast further as the long spool will let the line goes out smoothly. Unlike the multiplier reel, you don’t have to worry the time the sinker touches the water on every cast.

Using spinning or a multiplier reel, in any way possible try not to leave it lay on the beach as the sand that enter into it will overtime damage the reel. I have seen many surf anglers simply lay it on the beach sand especially when they get too excited after landing a fish.

It is also a good practice to rinse the reel with fresh water after fishing from the beach just to dissolve excess saltwater that may crystallize into some parts of the reels. This practice may help us prolong the life span of the reel.

Last but not least, choose a reel that makes you enjoy fishing. Fishing is a joy and should be trouble free eh…

Cheers..

Salted Bait!

Posted in Surfcasting/surf fishing Activities on September 23, 2009 by rozzdabozz

During festive season it is quite difficult to get fresh baits. I have learn to make my own. Quite effective although not as effective as those fresh ones. At least I have some baits with me when in need. This is how prepare the bait.

Some fresh prawns.

A plastic container.

Some coarse sea salt.

1. Put 1 layer of the sea salt in the container.

2. Arrange the prawns on it and cover them with the sea salt.

You can have a few layers if you want it.

When done. Keep it in the freezer.

To use it simply remove the sea salt and hook it to your fishing hook.

If you get lucky, you’ll hook some fish.

Cheers..

Selamat Hari Raya Idul-Fitr

Posted in Uncategorized on September 14, 2009 by rozzdabozz

Wishing everyone Selamat Hari Raya Idul-Fitr. Maaf Zahir Batin

Whiting Fishing in Malaysia

Posted in Surfcasting/surf fishing Activities on August 31, 2009 by rozzdabozz

I am a whiting fishing enthusiast.  It may not be a big game fishing but the thrill the fish gave when hooked is simply awesome despite its size.

This has always be my favorite fishing on the surf beaches of Malaysia especially on the west coast. Generally this species will come to shore during neap tides and fishing them is blissful while waiting for the biggies to swallow my bait.

I will normally use two rods, one for the big game and the other for this fun whiting. To fish whiting my simple and favorite technique is using the paternoster rig with small hooks of size 11-12. As opposed to the big game rod, the one I used for whiting fishing as normally 10-12 feet rod with fast action. Whiting as I has observed is somewhat clever (they say fish has no brains?). The best style of fishing is to cast about 50 meters out and slowly retrieving it. But when there is a lot of whiting, just cast into the school of whiting and you can just wait. In less than two minutes you will see action at the tip of your rod.  If one is lucky he could hook 50 whiting in only about 1 hour, a feat I have personally achieved in Teluk Rubiah in Lumut. I have also witness the same in the beach near Lumut town. Best bait would be the rag worms.

Whiting is a good eating fish. Some of my Chinese friends will use it to make laksa or sour noodles. If deep fried it is so sweet and crispy if eaten when it just left the frying pan. Yummy!

Anyhow if you are fishing whiting, try your best to spare the little ones and release them as soon as possible so that they could live another day for future whiting fishing bliss.

Cheers..

Ikan Goreng Sambal and Kerabu Kacang Botol

Posted in Uncategorized on August 29, 2009 by rozzdabozz

Ramadhan Mubaraq is back. This will be the second year that I will turn chef at home. Nak pegi rumah mertua kesian pulak kat dia as I don’t want her to feel obligated to cook for us. Oh well, we are just staying nearby.

This year I wanna share two dishes which I bantai aje but my family (my in laws included when I sent some to them) is lovin’ it!

The first is Ikan Goreng Sambal. Bloody easy to prepare, I thought.

Get some good size ikan selar and deep fry it until crispy. Take it out and put it aside.

Blend bawang merah, bawang putih, sedikit halia, sedikit kunyit and sedikit serai if you like. Next, tumis sampai garing. Add a wee bit of air asam jawa and bring it to pecah minyak. After that just put back the ikan goreng tu and mixed them well. Put it to simmer and it is ready to serve. You could add a wee bit of sugar to caramelize the sambal. Ups..don’t forget to season it to taste. Done…yummyyy…my kids said!

The second dish is Kerabu kacang Botol. This is indeed a sumptuous salad.

Get some 20 kacang botol and hiris nipis-nipis. Add 5 kacang panjang if you like ,also hiris them. Then hiris a bunga kantan, daun ketumbar, cili padi, and some udang kering…. Mixed all of them together with grated coconut (pandai-pandai la campor brapa banyak nak), add a wee bit of sugar and season it to taste. Keep it in the refrigerator for about 45 minutes. Sedap nyerrr hahaha

So that’s it!

Cheers..